Ok, I just had the suckiest evening playing tennis imaginable... I swear I played worse tonight than I did the first time I ever picked up a racket. Speaking of rackets, one is now a crumpled heap of metal and strings... ho hum. A tennis court is perhaps the only area of life where I struggle to contain my temper and frustrations; I'm not a naturally volatile person, but for some reason my instinct when choking an easy backhand into the bottom of the net is to shout a string of expletives and hit something very hard.
So basically, I am in far too foul a mood to play poker, but I really really want to. If I play and lose money, even if it is only by getting coolered, I'll be even more annoyed at myself for playing while on life tilt, but the urge is strong. I've had a bath to try and relax, I have undertaken a series of ritual movements designed to get me in touch with my inner Zen master (ie. had a very angry wank), I think I'm going to risk opening my wallet for a bit. Part of me is saying "no Dan, it's a leak to play if you don't think you will play well", and part is saying "just open the fucking tables already, time is money". Inevitably, I will listen to the voice that uses profanity, it just makes it's case so much more compelling...
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